This Is What It Feels Like to Bet On Yourself

It’s pretty damn scary

When I woke up today, I drank some tea, did some yoga, and started the day with a green smoothie. It’s a Thursday morning.

This is the life I’ve dreamed of for a very long time. Not too long ago, I was working as an E.R. Nurse. I did my very last assignment in August.

And this year, I decided to bet on myself. I decided to stop travel nursing, stay at home, and try to make the online world work for me. I’ve been dabbling online for about three years now, always part-time.

I’ve written on multiple platforms. And now, I create YouTube videos. But every day, I wonder whether it’s the right decision. After all, it’s been my dream to work from home and do things I love.

Yet here I am doing precisely that, yet I feel frustrated, guilty, and scared.

The struggles

Like I’ve said, I’m living my dream life minus the fact that I’m not getting paid for things I’m doing, like vlogging and writing online.

Some days, I wake up and ask myself if this is real. Some days, I’m scared it will all be taken away from me — the comfort of my life right now. But then I remind myself that if I got myself here with nothing, I can do it again if need be.

The struggles are mainly emotional.

I feel frustrated because I’ve been at this for three years and don’t have the success I want. But…