You Are Not the Point of Reference
“This is how I would do it”
Some people think that just because that’s how they would do one thing, it means that every other person should do it that way.
I was working with a seasoned and new hire nurse last week when the seasoned nurse came to me and started saying that, “Ugh, I can’t believe these new hires. They are so dirty. They can’t handle their assignment.” The tone was very judgy, and I didn’t stand it.
So I said, “Well, they’re new hires. It’s not their fault that they have a shitty assignment. What do you expect?”
And he said, “Well, you weren’t like that when you started.”
“Yeah, because I have experienced it before coming here. She’s a new grad.”
“Well, this is how I would do it,” he replies. He then explained things that they should be doing.
What you have to understand is that you are not the point of reference.
Just because that’s how you would do a specific action doesn’t mean that everyone else should do it that way.
When someone else struggles with a task, unable to start a task, and not behaving the way you feel they should do, it doesn’t mean that they are doing it wrong.
Everyone has their own identity, beliefs, and values and therefore has their thoughts and perceptions that would lead them to behave the way they do.
The next time someone needs your help with their situation, it may be worth asking about their current circumstance.
And how exactly does your advice fit in their situation?
And more importantly, how exactly can you help with their situation without judgment?
